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sorry for my english

The first day of this second visit became a horror day. I didn't realize what a BIG story this outfit could be and went around in a normal mood, but people looked at me like in a zoo. The Punk red hairs were the sensation of this place. Never before somebody like me went to God's place and may be I was the first Punk Kumaoni people got to see, but also "this group" act in a terrible way.

Nearly everybody gave a comment and one asked me "you had a dream?" This group was like a group, with rules and common "outfit" and my one was a total different style. Just I got the connection to the Lady in me with colored nails and "jewels" and all these things ... I felt blamed.

In the evening there was a singing at the Havan Khund announced. I was sitting there and really playing with the harmonium, spacy sounds but of course not in "their way". Suddenly people came took the harmonium sat down and start to sing. Few Bhajans like a juke-box ... and quickly finished. They packed the harmonium away even without asking me and it was a terrible show of a programm which has to be done. Nothing was inside, no Love, no Bhakti and it was very cold.

I started to dance to change this energy and to "punk the world up" and danced around the Havan Khund where a little fire was burning and squirled the cosmos ... three fingers I hold to the fire and three up in the sky like a trishul and mixed it up in the "wrong" direction. The energy or whatever really threw me into the fire and had to be carefull not to fall inside the fireplace. (this evening singing never happened again)

The first evening Aarti was full of people, may be 400 ... many americans who were wearing jeans but the lunghi wrapped around. How could they move? Like with this singing, they obeyed the rules, but how you get the feeling of lunghi if you don't put away your trouthers ???

From the last time I knew, that "this Guru" loves Pasta and for me pasta was always togther with cheese. Both I brought to give Him a present and was thinking about what to give first. If I give the cheese first it will be funny, but may be He didn't know for what. So I put the pasta in my bag and made Pranam to Him. They told me that you have to give presents in His left hand and with the other one He gave you the Prasad. So I did it. He looked at me and I looked at Him, He smiled. Later, outside, somebody told me ... "The Guruji ... (ooh I was thinking I did something worng) ... He was so much smiling." I realized that people are watching to this Pranam and it made the thing not more easy ... I didn't think about this but it irritated me very much to be watched during this action of Pranam, which I never did before ...

The next evening I brought Him the cheese and knowing that I will be watched ... when I went away my lunghi falled nearly down and I was very irritated. The next days I went always half an hour before to make this Pranam in privacy. At this time people were busy to put clothes at "their plae" like they do with towels in Spain for getting the best place at the swimming-pool.

After this Aarti everybody met at the chai-shop to talk and talk and talk. It was interesting because this group is very big and very international and so there was much to talk.

The next morning started with the routine and there was chandan on the list. I visited Buthnath in his kutir, sat there at the fire and we smoked together and I got this black Ash-Chandan and everybody knew that this is "for smokers" ...

The morning Aarti was full again, to sit there and sing and look to these beautiful mountains, the world famous Himalayas with their 8000m mountains was an amazing show. After this there were several rituals and reading of a holy book, called The Haidakhandi Sapta Sati and after this was a big Yagya, a fire in big size and people sit around and offered things to the fire. It was hot, the fire heated even more, one Shastriji was reading loudly holy Mantras and the people threw the offers in the fire wit hthe word:

SVAHA

My problem was that my bag was missed. I never loose things and normally never people steal something from me because I give enough. I like giving. Until now there was no loose in my things, but the bag  was gone. I searched everywhere, but no chance. There was one Indian man who also had visit Buthnath to give Him something and I went to this man to give Him a present, a lighter. This lighters were very rare in those times and the man said "thank you."  When I told Him the story about the missed bag He answered:

"You can not change the world in one day"

After this I found my bag.

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